Fleeting...past days in pictures

Finals are finally done, a nice warm feeling flows thru my body, I feel good about my grades, now time to mellow down, its been awhile so I'll just update the past days in pictures and check out Rick James on wax lol. 1 luv!



Give it to me baby...

Where Did D Go?

Just gettin' in....SO TIRED.I wish I could say from chillin' but actually I'm comin' from Club Library with DJ Business Law was on the one's and two's. Allergy season....my eyes keep tearing so it looks like I'm crying....iono, maybe deep inside I am. Life is so multifaceted. Its like I came outside without strappin' on the vest and now I'm gettin' hit from all sides and angles without warning. My mind, body, and soul, altho will remain forever strong and resilient....is still only of human nature, and thus all are tired. Seems everyone is coming to me for a shoulder to lean on, to complain, to rant, aim there fustrations at, and ask for help....and I'm a friend so as one thats just fine, as a friend...thats my job its what I'm here to do....but who do I run to? Where do I lean my head and open my heart to vent? My best friend broke down to rock bottom not too long ago, those stomach problems have gotten the best of her it seems so how can I bother her with my (in comparison) meager and petty troubles? Each day it seems has its own personality. One day I'm feeling like a million bucks and nothing or no one can bring me down and then the next its like I feel like crawling under a rock. Now I'm not manic depressive or anything but the events each day holds is at times so random and unexpected and so left field....basically in essence life....which remains to be unscripted. Momma always said to be prepared...stay on yuh toes. I think I need a break from reality. I really hope I get the time off from work to goto St. Croix, I need that vacation more than anyone can imagine. Maybe its all in my head...finals season...end of the semester...altho I'm whippin' ass in the classroom this semester, finals gets everyone a lil' shook up....not tryna fuck up my GPA for nuffin.
In public....people see my face....I see theirs....as strangers we pass each other as we come and go to our personal destinations. Even friends...they see my face as I see theirs...but all we have of each other at those moments as we go thru life of people are simply snapshots. Especially when we pass one another in the street...nothing but mere snapshots into their lives....we cannot begin to calculate the millions of decisions that led up to that one moment in its entirety. The couple arguing....the dazed and confused looking girl on the bench....the crying baby....the man in the wheelchair....the old man cussin' to himself....and me...D....walking with my head hung low as if in defeat, smoking a black. Where do I go from here? This point in my life is too damn confusing....just when I was gettin to know myself and appreciate her, she disappears. I hope I can seek her out again before its too late, I can't afford to lose her...

Happy Mummy's Day

Just wishing a Happy Mother's Day to all the "moms" in my life whose wisdom and insight seem never-ending just like the love they dish out. All the good cookin', warm hugs and kisses, and even the hasty chastising when they feel I'm wrong...its all love. I thank God that I have each and every one of them in my life to guide me and make this thing called life just that much easier. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!! To my Grannys....no otha grannys will do, especially when it comes to that good ol Jamaican cookin. To my real Mommy and StepMommy, its all the same, you both are irreplaceable to me. And to all the Moms worldwide, my sisters, friends, cousins, everyone.....Happy Mother's Day.......
Me & Ma...as if you can't tell....

Its my window...and right about now, I can't stand the rain...

Problem: Long day, Never ending rain showers, Unnecessary drama, Roomie burnt our dinner, and the website to turn in my business proposal is down.....SMH

Solution: Blockbuster movie & bed, warm PJs, chinese take out, email my professor regarding my problem, drink the last of my Smirnoff strawberry vodka, and smoke a nice blunt to put the fuck it in my system.....

Goodnite....

Procrastination....my arch enemy....

So I'm supposed to be finishing up my 30page business plan equipped with a 5yr expense report tonight but since the due date has been pushed back til Friday I figured I'd give myself the night off. Sunday going into Monday I didn't get to bed until well after 5am, facebook has this new chat thingamajig so you can see who else is online same time as you...hahaha misery loves company so I was pleased to know I wasn't the only one up doing work, VJ was so called doin homework himself. So yeah went to bed and surprisingly made it to my 9am class for my CIS final, hahaha I said I'd update yall and so the outcome was that because she fucked up the Microsoft Access part we all pretty much passed, sharing is caring was the name of the game so we all did good I believe. So long as I can a B or higher in that class my GPA is good money. Lol funny lady I swear. Anyhoot I don't work Mondays and I had a dermatologist appointment and since it was nice outside I deadass skipped my 2-5pm lecture and choose to head to the beach instead to enjoy the weather with some friends. As soon as I got home I planned on cooking and finishing up my good read (Dreams from my Father by Sen. Barack Obama) but I deadass was comatose by like 10pm and didn't wake up until this morning to get ready for work. I had cramps and was forced to stand yet again for another 4hrs straight at work and then my final presentation with my group in my Small Biz Entrepreneurship class....o joy.....some of our classmates tried to devour us with puzzling questions (especially kids from our rivaling group who had the same case study as us) but thank God I was in a smart group and we all held our own and knew our shyt so the outcome was a highly sought A-, which I can goto bed happily about. Fridge is looking well scarce....food shopping thursday. Sittin' here knowing damn well I have a pile of work to be done but I rather facebook, myspace, blog, AIM, youtube, blockbuster, and playstation all night...lol but that was part of the mistake I made last time around so with that said I am going to be the model student and go do what I gotta do so I can stay ahead in the game and be all SMILES when the semester comes to a close. If your reading this as part of your procrastination regimen...trust me I truly do APPRECIATE it, someone giving a shit about what I have to say, but after your done do yourself a huge favor and get that work done...don't have taken those 3 and 4 credit classes in vain.....Muahz<3

And the remaining question in my mind: WHY?

Let me first start by saying im tired as shyt...just got home bout 45mins ago from seeing the well-worth-it Ironman movie....Robert Downey Jr. could definitely get it...lol in another lifetime ofcourse, but nah all jokes aside it was fun, check it out if your into those type of flicks...I definitely consider myself a Marvel comic fan. I shouldn't be up right now being that I have a final in my CIS class tomorrow but it should be a breeze...keep yall updated on that one. Yesterday was cold as shyt for May but my friends and I made the most of it just chillin inside. Triple has a housewarming get2gether which didn't turn out half bad. I smoked enuff to reach a plateau where I realized I couldn't get much higher than that lol but like my good friend Calvin told me, thats never bad. Really wishing there was a Chick Filet aka orgasm in ur mouth in the NY area right about now but I settled on some chinese instead. Hopefully I get this second job before the week is out so my savings accounts can start to look as such. I've said it and will continue to do so, so long as they nag me (which will probably be for the remainder of my life, hopefully not tho) bills are a bitch. Rent is paid next up should be the cell aka my lifeline. Really worried about my best friend at the moment tho, I got to see her over the weekend since she was in town for a slew of doctors appointments (she goes to StonyBrook in L.I) these assholes done did surgery on her twice and still haven't fixed her problem. Its all stomach and intestinal related and now they're talking stomach cancer and ulcers. Up until now my main way of being her support was telling her that atleast it wasn't life threatening....just a nuisance (speak of the devil she just texted me) but now I can't use that without being so sure...I really hope for both our benefit they get to the bottom of this and do it quik. Being a bio-major and all she's entitled to enjoying her summer. I can't imagine losing her, my best friend since 6th grade to death in the form of cancer?! Fuck no. I lost my dad to prostate cancer when i was eleven and it was ugly to say the least. I rather lose her over an argument of some sort, that way even tho we may not speak I can still imagine her living her life out fully. Sometimes I seriously wonder why good people like her end up in these situations. One of the few virgins I know, who to my knowledge has never missed church on a Sunday (even now with stomach pains n all), never curses (I get surprised when she says "damn"), and is in the house before 11pm every night unless its school related. She is what still and always has kept me grounded and from going completely to the darkside I guess I'll call it. No, I can't afford to lose her, call me selfish but I'm sure everyone whose life she's impacted feels the same way, she doesn't deserve what life has tossed at her, she has enough worries as it is with school and all just like the rest of us. This is just extra and makes shyt complicated and it fustrates me because all I can do it sit aside and watch her in pain and listen to her cries and complaints but I am rendered useless. Just like I watched my dad deteriorate. He want from being a 6'4 robust man who I believed could do anything and within a matter of months he became nothing but just a memory I keep in my heart and mind. My best friend is only 20 but sickness and all its complications doesn't discriminate. Still I feel somehow I should be the one sick and not her but as life will have it that isn't the case is it now? I am not highly religious but I do believe in the power of prayer because tonight while she is hurting, that is the only remedy besides a shoulder to lean on I can offer.....its been real...goodnite yall.....

Random Thoughts

Okay so I just wanted to post a few fun pix is all, not really in the mood to write...altho I must say my babes just dropped me off some roses before heading to work (awwww), thx hun...anyhoot here they go...two pix I thought to be hilarious